What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
