Farmville is her only friend.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
