addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
