Nicole vs. Life
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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