I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
