actually, I'm a sock model
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
