Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
