Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
