this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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