just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.