How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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