Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
