It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Damn victory sex feels great
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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