I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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