Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize