SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
