why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
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What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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