I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
