You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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