Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
