Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
