i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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