My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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