so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I didn't notice because vodka
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
