I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
