i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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