3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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