did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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