After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i will never coherently bang her
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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