He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
