I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
