she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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