Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My vagina just clenched in fear
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