For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
