My hand turned me down
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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