I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
