I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
