dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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