OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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