and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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