it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
