i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
