somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
