In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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