where does the pee come out of this thing
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
