Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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