Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Houston, we have a squirter
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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