benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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