The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
