Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
