i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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