i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
