My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize