dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
