remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
