fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
