hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
