At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
